Just Tri Part III: When you can’t TRI you marathon
A text to a friend went something like this last week:
Me: “I just pulled a Kelly” (yes, I used 3rd person, don’t judge its usage makes the story better)
I then proceeded to detail said current situation I was masterminding.
Friend: “I love that I immediately started thinking about the most absurd ideas I could come up with for what you were going to tell me and none of them even came close.”
She knows.
Maybe a few of you are shaking your head in agreement because you know too that this could mean an array of things and some of you are about to find out. Let’s just say, it’s never a good sign when my husband gets a text from me at 10am on Friday that says, “Hi Hun, want to do something insane with me this weekend?”
Literally…
Since Ironman was cancelled in March, I have spent the better part of time in mind funk limbo. I know, I didn’t quite provide an update last month when this happened, but I didn’t know what to say. There wasn’t much to be said as it just felt like empty space. So much time dedicated. More training than ever before and no finish line to test oneself. Not to mention Ironman cancelled and said, “we will get back to you in April.” Not much to go off there. Do I continue to train? How much time do I still dedicate to training? What about distances – should I keep up the 140-180 miles per week? Curious about the distance I covered before IM was cancelled?
Total training accrued over four months…more training than ever for this lady.
When I awoke on Friday, the buzz of what typically would be April Boston Marathon weekend was looming all around. The thoughts of a year gone by, missing yet another marathon Monday, the knowledge that I was meant to fly to Ironman Texas this week, coupled with National Infertility Awareness Week all collided. Needless to say, the week was full of emotions. But the kicker, the thing that really drove the nail into the coffin, was the ding of an email notification,
“Cheap Marathon congratulates the newest Boston Marathon qualifiers”…I looked at the date. April 11th. Huh.
Like a car breaking before a crash my eyes screamed, WHAT!!! I had run a half-marathon down the road, the same day! Ugh…My mind raced. The wheels were turning. When I go into 5th gear, last minute, determined on a mission action mode, it is not a good sign (well I think it’s a great sign, but usually it’s a one-way, no turning back destination).
It just felt like miss after miss after miss from closed events with FIT, to no Ironman, to missing marathons and just struggling with the overall continued atmosphere of uncertain. I needed a win. I had been so engrossed with Ironman cancelling that the concept had escaped me. But now it was clear as day and every bit of competitive Kelly was on fire. The training was there, the muscle memory for sure, speed may be of concern as training was endurance not pace based, but there was no question regarding desire; alas, lightbulb…why don’t I try to qualify for Boston? I should try to qualify for Boston. This is what spun in my head.
So…I did what any normal, rational, well calculated mother of two would do, I started scouring the internet for any event happening before registration opened on Tuesday. Let’s see…I had three days with legs slightly trained for racing, I had to find a race that was still open for registration this late in the game, sprinkle in a 93rd birthday I was hosting for my Nana with a small group of family members at my house in 7 hours, add a dash of one of the busiest departure days out of Boston - school vacation weekend, and top it with a COVID cherry…NBD.
There were a bunch on Saturday, but most registrations were closed and I couldn’t zip to the airport and leave my Nan on her 93rd birthday!
And then…I found one. In Illinois. Hello Geneva, IL and BQ.2 Races!
Somehow registration was still open. And, even better, the race was dedicated to runners like me; their website literally said “America’s #1 Boston Qualifier” and last chance Boston. Boom, serendipity!
what are the chances right? Image credit BQ2 Races.
A few more administrative tasks –
Check COVID rules for race: All Good
Check COVID rules for Geneva (not Switzerland), IL: All Good
Register for Race: Check
Find Flights: ugh…bit of turbulence but navigated
Book Hotel & Car: Check/Check
Text Running friends and cancel plans to run the Boston Marathon course Sunday (sorry Audrey & Joy)…
5:30pm: Trip set just in time for 93rd celebration guest arrivals. Continued conversations with said hubby about the weekend ahead…postponed.
Happy 93rd Birthday Nana!
Pre-Race Day: Saturday morning. Coffees at Starbucks. Breakfast with the kids. About 9am:
Me: Oh hun, I have to start packing.
Hun: Oh, this is really happening huh?
Me: uh, yeah…
Hun: What time is your flight?
Me: 11:30am
(I am laughing as I write this…it’s so bad; I am SO bad)
Thank you for the airport send off!
I breezed through security – no line. Found my gate and sat down. It hadn’t really occurred to me the number of things that had to go right for this to come together until the following announcement, “Flight XYZ has been delayed due to a fire that broke out at your terminal at O’Hare Internat…” Okay you get it. I can’t make this up. I realized one pebble could royally domino all plans. But, a short while later, we boarded, I landed in Illinois safely, found a “little engine that could” rental car and set off to Switzerland…
So weird being in an airport again…petrified to fly…and oh did you also know there was a rental car shortage?
Race Check-In
I went straight to the race arriving just in time for a practice loop of the course – my legs felt like lead. Running two-minutes faster per mile in the morning felt implausible. Then it was time to check-in.
Race Director: Oh, its’ you.
Me: Uh, yes, it’s me.
Race Director: We were dumbfounded you were able to register. We closed registration on Thursday but somehow you were able to register on Friday. We realized it was a glitch in our system, but here you are.
Me: (almost crying thinking it was all for naught, another miss) Ah, yes I am here.
Race Director: Don’t worry, we have your bib, someone for sure was looking out for you!
Sheer bliss and tears streamed down my face as I recalled the story of the day before to the team and thanked them.
A real bib…a real, live, bib for a real live marathon!
As rusty as I felt, it was like old times; found a cozy little restaurant to carb load, sorted a glass of wine to temper the nerves and laid out Gu, gear, & Garmin (okay Apple watch but I love alliteration and my Garmin it just happened to be back in Boston). All these traditions that used to happen so often, felt at once like I was doing them for the first time and an old friend patting me on the back. As I went to bed, I realized it had been two years since I even ran the marathon distance. Prior to that, it had been 5 1/2 years and 2 kids since I chased a Boston Qualifying Time (BQ). But tomorrow was the day and I made this effort to arrive...so here goes nothing!
Bar seat for one, yes please! Food pics (not a fan), but it was so yummy esp the vino! Thank you Livia Italian Eatery & for the recommendation Jen!
The day was perfect; 42F at start rising to 52F with a slight wind and perfect cloud cover. The same eyes of expectation and nervousness on the pod of runners that were in my qualifying bracket. That buzz of preparation and tackling the unknown filled the air with the ultimate goal to ring the BQ2 race qualifying bell at the end of the 8 laps that lay before us (yes, the race has a dedicated bell to ring at the end when you qualify for Boston).
Race morning prep & covid safe distanced corrals…
The first loop of the course had three spurs to complete before it turned into seven even 3.05 mile loops. Prior to running, I had discussed strategy with my running buddies and coach, weighing out what we thought I could sustain and finding a fine balance between working solid and working hard before pushing it (By the way, this is a never been done before moment for me as normally I just RUN, I don’t like to over think these things). I ran a near perfect pace for me through the first 5 laps, about 8:15 minutes per miles. For me, that is huge as I never wear a watch, have never had to pace myself, and have never attempted to qualify solo. I ran a lot on feel still, finding a good leg turnover and locking into cruise control. I slowed slightly in miles 17-23 (my Anheuser-Busch work horse miles) and was ready to bring it home on lap 8. Turning onto mile 23, I dropped to an 8:08 mile. I felt stronger, calmer, and more focused than any of my prior qualifiers. Don’t get me wrong, I was struggling, this is a marathon, but I felt great; I had it in the bag. When I got to mile 24, I had 19 minutes to qualify and my pace was just about 16:30 to reach the finish line. I couldn't believe it! Holy *hit this was happening! How I had pulled it off and made it to mile 25 amid all the moments this or that could have failed, not to mention this whole idea popped in my head Friday morning, I had NO idea! Maybe the race director was right, someone was looking out for me, for here I was, one mile to go!
And then…
I can’t explain it, I was not expecting it. and even now I don’t know what happened. My leg…I couldn’t accelerate. I couldn’t run on it. No pop. No twist. Just done. Every time I started, pain. I stood on the side of the path begging my knee to calm down watching the clock tick away. Hobbling along the path I willed my leg to move. I could see the finish line, I just needed to get going. But nothing worked. I was stagnant. With about .2 to go some adrenaline serum kicked in or sheer desire/desperation pain blocker and I all out sprinted.
As I crossed the finish line my time posted at home: 3:40.19.
I was gutted.
19 seconds off a Boston qualifier.
19 seconds.
The taste of bittersweet defeat.
ugly tears…one sad (victory) beer…
I keep going over that last mile; searching for 19 seconds…what more could I have done? Could I have pushed more? I know this year I would have needed more buffer than 19 seconds, but with less than 48 hours of believing the impossible was possible for it to come down to 19 seconds just stung. Every time that bell rang with another qualifier the sting of 19 seconds just jabbed at me. But this is the marathon, this is the struggle, this is the lesson (somewhere), this is the growth and there are far greater losses.
When this plan set into action, I had been wafting in a cloud of limbo for weeks. The stakes were high and the miss was crushing. Around me though my teammates, friends, and family were screaming for me to make it and picking me up off the ground when I didn’t. They made me proud that I even dared to believe this could work, that this would work and that I chased this impossible despite the cards stacked against success. Proud that I even concocted this crazy idea, saw it through, and finished the marathon. And oh my, almost pull it all off. It was an amazing adventure and an amazing weekend. I am pinching myself that it all happened considering 48 hours prior this wasn’t even a thought. This is my wheelhouse, my happy days, maybe reason for a Starbucks “crazy Kelly” cup, but it grounds me and I needed that mental game. And man, did it feel amazing to be back in the game.
loved my surprise flowers Joy & Audrey - thank you!
In the end, after two years with many missed finish lines it was amazing to find a cool little town, an awesome pasta dinner, to feel the camaraderie of running, and to find a marathon finish line. To feel that competitive spirit again and to tackle what seemed to be so unattainable. Cause it was there, maybe 3:37, we will never know. But it was there. Thank you, Scott Coey, training…huh, what a concept?
At the airport in Boston, I got a big teary hug from the hubby. I joked that maybe it was him, because I left him last minute, he decided to make me think I was going to qualify the whole time and then last minute he voodoo dolled it away from me. I’m being unfair; he wanted it more for me.
At home, Scarlett ran up to me. “It’s okay you didn’t win mom, you will next time.” She’s 4. She’s right. I’ll be back, and next time I’ll be ringing that BQ2 Race bell.
Failure is hard; falling flat on your face is never fun…but oh does it fire me up for the next time.
#justkeeprunning
how could these faces (and this quote that made me spit out said beer Scott Coey) not pick me up?
Thank You!
That Friday night at my Nan’s birthday, my cousin asked me what I was doing for the weekend. After I responded he said, “You married the perfect person for you; I would kill you.” I did; for many reasons. Thank you John for not divorcing me.
And a huge thank you to Scott (whom I wouldn’t have come close to qualifying without your coaching), Joy, Audrey, Becca, Steve, Dave, John, Kristin, Matt, Lisa, Mike, Mum, Dad, Lyndsey, Jen, Susan, Heidi, Raymond, Katy, Brett, Meg, Sarah, Beth and Sarah. I felt the love.
A note about the race:
Kudos and a big thanks to BQ2 races for putting on a safe and well executed event, especially in times of continued COVID. Your team was / is professional, courteous, caring and well organized and this last minute, rogue runner was grateful for the accepting welcome. If you do not know about BQ2 races, they offer strategically timed, last chance marathons dedicated to helping runners meet and surpass the qualifying standard for the Boston Marathon! The information provided for the event and supplemental requirements for COVID safety protocol was spot on and I loved the dedicated support everyone at the event - volunteers to medical to staff - had to celebrating the Boston or bust race pace. The whole camaraderie and spirit of race weekend was the energy many of us needed. On average more than 60% of the race field qualifies from the event for the Boston Marathon earning the event the title #1 Boston qualifier and racers a coveted ring of their BQ bell! The event allows for personal drinks at one aid stations – yes, just like the elites, you can have your own super speedy fuel and nutrition on course. Corrals are strategically structured with runners in your qualifying bracket and bibs start with the Boston qualifying time you need to meet. B2Q courses are traditionally lap races with negative net gain. While laps might be a mental block for some runners, I found comfort in being well versed with the road ahead and not having to think about any course fluctuation – one less thing to focus on and worry about! The Geneva, IL course was held on a beautiful public walking/biking/running path alongside the river. The space is not closed to the public on race day so initially I was worried I may have problems navigating bikers and puppies - but it was a not a worry at all. In non-COVID times, the event also provides pace teams to help you cross the finish 2-3 minutes ahead of your BQ time to allow for those much-needed buffer minutes! With its focus on helping you qualify for Boston, BQ2 builds an amazing little community around the goal of getting into THE MARATHON and it was nice to know (most) everyone was running for Boston. The race is structured to make you succeed (just don’t miss it by 19 seconds*). Haha. I highly recommend BQ2 Races and feel confident that at their next event I will qualify.
*Today The Boston Marathon released the time under qualifying standard you needed to earn a spot in the 2021 race: 7:47. Wow! Congratulations to everyone accepted to race in October - you are some speedy runners! In total, I missed Boston this year by 8:06. Looks like for 2022, I am going to need that sub 3:30…